We toured the new private school and met with the principal. I don't know if they just put on a good face b/c they want my money, but I was VERY impressed with the entire organization. Robbie's entire first grade class is the size of this entire school. One grade level in public school = entire student body at private school.
The principal made me feel like the expectations and concerns I had for Robbie's schooling were completely normal and what every parent should want. The people at Rob's other school looked at me like I had a second head when I wanted to be so involved in his classwork. The actual property and classrooms are phenomenal. They have two pre-K classes, two Kinder classes, two first grade and two second grade. All the children looked engaged and *gasp* INTERESTED in the schoolwork. They have a separate room and teacher JUST for art and music. In a society where arts and music are being cut from public education funding this school that only goes to second grade has a separate teacher for both. I was in heaven. The play structure was completely shaded. Robbie's public school has absolutely NO SHADE whatsoever for any place the students play or eat outdoors. Teacher eat lunch with their students and supervise on the playground for recess. Everything was so far meeting or exceeding my expectations for what I wanted in a school for him.
We finished the tour and they requested that Robbie come for a trial first grade day on Friday. They also insisted (now get this) that MY MOM be the one to bring him and observe. They said b/c she had volunteered in Robbie's Kinder class AND observed in the first grade class that she would have a basis for comparison. If it passes the picky grandma test, I'm confidant in sending Robbie there.
In the meantime I was getting ill at the thought of continuing to send Robbie to this horrible place they call a public school. I kept him home a few days this week and last, and decided to send him yesterday b/c my mom was there to watch out for him. (Plus I wanted to make sure that the bad report she gave me last week was not just a fluke) I was assured it was no fluke. While they were at school I started researching the CA law regarding homeschooling. Since they appealed the law that required you be a certified teacher to homeschool (holy uproar about THAT batman!) I figured I might be able to keep him here until he starts at the private school. From everything I was reading it sounded like that was a viable option, but I called the homeschooling hotline just in case. According to CA law, I have the right to homeschool him and enroll him in a private school w/o filing any paperwork at this time. He has to be enrolled SOMEWHERE by Oct 15th (by which time he'd be in the private school). The lady on the phone suggested I file the paperwork to homeschool him on the off chance the private school doesn't work out, then I don't have to scramble to file it later.
Robbie will spend the night at my mom's house tonight, and in the morning they will go to the school early so Rob can play on the playground with the other kids before school. They recommended that he get a chance to interact with the other children before the classroom setting so he doesn't feel completely thrown into the unknown.
IN THE MEANTIME, I informed my mother that he does not have to go back to that awful teacher. My mom STILL insisted that I listen to about twenty minutes of horror stories regarding her day at that school. I shudder to think how long the conversation would have gone had I not decided to keep him home. Much like her daughter, my mom has a flair for the dramatic (LOL). She used the phrase "wanted to throw up" several times in her narration and guess what reaction that had on me...
So hopefully problem solved. I go to Rob's school sometime in the next few days and inform them that he is being enrolled in a private school. GOD HELP THEM if they ask me my reasoning. I just want to pull him out and go about my life in peace.
If they DO ask, they better get ready for an ear full.....
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
I'm pretty much done with Robbie's school
Since the first day of school I've had an off feeling about Robbie's teacher. He had such an amazing kindergarten teacher I had concerns about this year living up to last's expectations. A number of little odd things occurred, nothing REALLY offensive, just small red flags being raised with almost every encounter I had with Robbie's teacher. She struck me as a bit "spacey", like she didn't quite know what was going on or how to do things. I noticed inconsistencies in things she said and did, and she seemed a bit taken aback at my desire to be so involved in Robbie's schoolwork.
Robbie needs motivation. He is the kind of child that if nothing is given as motivation, nothing gets done. He is NOT self motivated in the regard that he does work just because it is required of him. I made a point chart for his performance in school, which worked AMAZINGLY last year. Based on his behavior at school, and his ability to get his schoolwork done I award points. He works toward a larger goal of his choice. This year his point chart is earning towards a trip to Chuck E Cheese's.
The first week of school she seemed discombobulated. I gave the benefit of the doubt since it was her first year teaching this particular grade (she had taught third grade before I believe), but intended to have a long conversation with her regarding her discipline system. I base the amount of points Robbie gets on the color card system they use in class and I was confused about a few things.
Things died down so I decided to talk to her during Robbie's second week of school. I asked her if the children have a chance to earn back their good card or if once they had a warning it was forever changed. She responded with "It's only the second week of school"
So essentially she could not tell me what the discipline policy was in her own classroom at that point.
Robbie was not making good use of his classroom time. This happened last year (hence the point chart). The teacher did not even bring this up, I discovered it on my own. She was making conversation about what Robbie had done that day and suggested he show me his classwork binder. I thumb through only to find incomplete sentences and blank drawing boxes. I inquire as to why Robbie did not finish his work (speaking to him) and the teacher butts in with "oh that's ok"
ummmm NO IT'S NOT!
So speaking to Robbie I say "You know sweetie, if work doesn't get done in the class time you have to either finish it during your recess and you miss it, or you bring it home as extra homework. It's very important you use class time wisely"
The next day I pick him up from school and the teacher says "If you were serious about him completing work at home (NO I was just f*cking around saying that) then I made a list of the pages he needs to have completed"
Again, Robbie needs motivation. In order for him to realize there was some kind of ramifications for him bringing schoolwork home, I told him for every incomplete page he brought home he lost two points; one point for the incomplete sentence and one point for not drawing a picture.
All his schoolwork was completed and returned the next day. The teacher noticed this and afterschool asked if Robbie "liked" drawing the pictures. I failed to see what difference that made. She explained that she only requires the children to finish the sentence and the picture can be drawn "if they feel like it"
WTF??
So that's just a sampling of some of the "small things" that had me anxious about her teaching ability. I kept telling myself I was looking for things to be picky about and should give her a chance to settle in. Meanwhile I'm telling my mom about all these weird goings on and she agrees to volunteer at his school once a week just to keep an eye on him and give me an outside perspective of what's going on in the classroom.
She left to volunteer yesterday morning and by midday was ready to bring him home.
I called to leave her a message about something and to my surprise her phone was on. I talked to her briefly but could hear in her voice that she was very unhappy about her day.
She comes home and tells me that all the suspicions i had abot this teacher had been confirmed. She does not address the children by name, she speaks in very general terms instead of direct discipline, and she's extraordinarily boring and not engaging to the students. Instead of specifically asking a student not to do something, then having them turn their card if they do not comply, she makes general statements like "you guys are not listening" She had Robbie turn his card because he was "not cooperating". No specific request to stop a particular behavior, just pointed at him and made him turn his card.
Robbie is reading at a third grade level. He was tested at the beginning of the year and scored the highest. At back to school night she referenced him three times and claimed she would have to "work hard to keep him engaged"
Her solution to this was to let him look at more books throughout the day.
At recess (which the teacher is nowhere to be found) my son had to use the restroom. He's been having bathroom issues for a few days and takes more than two minutes to "do his business"
My mom waited outside the restroom for him and watched to bigger kids go in. After a few minutes of shouting and ruckus she walks in to discover the two boys pushing on the door trying to force their way in and my son with his pants down holding the door for dear life.
The yard duties were twenty feet away talking to each other watching the 100 kids on the playground. The bathroom stall my son was in was one of two they have. TWO stalls for one hundred children and the other door didn't close all the way, which is why the big kids were fighting my son for his stall. So technically there is ONE boy's stall for that amount of kids.
After the incident my mom told the yard duty people what had occurred. They did not care.
My mom walks my son to the office so he can have some privacy and get his business done in peace. She explains to the office what happened and why he was required to use the bathroom there and they did not care.
She went back to the classroom and explained to the teacher why they were late coming back and what had occurred in the bathroom and SHE didn't care.
At lunchtime the children are herded into the cafeteria where the meek children are pushed to the back of the line. They are on a tight schedule and are only allowed a certain amount of time. Because the smaller kids get shoved to the back of the line, by the time the sit down they have about ten minutes to eat all their food. Then they are forced to throw away their food when the time is up and clear out for the next group of children.
My mom watched a little girl sit and look at her food. She didn't have a single bite. Instead of the staff asking the girl what was wrong, or trying to get her to eat something, she was simply instructed to throw away her food when the time was up and ushered out of the cafeteria. She left the lunchroom having eaten nothing and nobody cared.
My son is a very sensitive soul. I understand I can't shelter him from the whole world, nor do I wish to. But I have seen what things like this can do to a mind like his. Our family has some very messed up smart people because they were not in a nurturing caring environment.
If this was my daughter I doubt I would have even written this blog. She stands up for herself, is enormous for her age (LOL) and can hold her own wherever she goes.
My son is a bit different. The last thing I want is to have him in an environment where he withers away and falls through the cracks. He is SO excited about learning, and absorbs so much information wherever he goes, I'd hate for him to loose his passion and have all my years of hard work erased by one bad teacher. He is so vulnerable right now, and I know he will have many trials as he gets older, but at this particular age, this particular time, I can't in good conscience send him to a school that I know is destroying who he is.
I have an appointment to tour a private school about 15 miles away and I have told my husband in no uncertain terms that if I like the school I'm signing him up immediately. It's disgusting to me that should I not have had that option, I'd have to put up this horrible fight with the school system, principal and teacher and be labeled one of "those" parents.
Well, let them call me whatever the hell they want behind my back WHEN MY SON IS GOING TO A DIFFERENT SCHOOL and their precious state money is gone b/c they can't get their shit together and run a decent curriculum.
I'm so sick to my stomach over this. It was very difficult to drop him off at school today. I have no desire to speak to that teacher and feel very sorry for the children still left in that class. But if I can improve the situation for my child that is no longer my battle to fight.
Wish me luck.
Robbie needs motivation. He is the kind of child that if nothing is given as motivation, nothing gets done. He is NOT self motivated in the regard that he does work just because it is required of him. I made a point chart for his performance in school, which worked AMAZINGLY last year. Based on his behavior at school, and his ability to get his schoolwork done I award points. He works toward a larger goal of his choice. This year his point chart is earning towards a trip to Chuck E Cheese's.
The first week of school she seemed discombobulated. I gave the benefit of the doubt since it was her first year teaching this particular grade (she had taught third grade before I believe), but intended to have a long conversation with her regarding her discipline system. I base the amount of points Robbie gets on the color card system they use in class and I was confused about a few things.
Things died down so I decided to talk to her during Robbie's second week of school. I asked her if the children have a chance to earn back their good card or if once they had a warning it was forever changed. She responded with "It's only the second week of school"
So essentially she could not tell me what the discipline policy was in her own classroom at that point.
Robbie was not making good use of his classroom time. This happened last year (hence the point chart). The teacher did not even bring this up, I discovered it on my own. She was making conversation about what Robbie had done that day and suggested he show me his classwork binder. I thumb through only to find incomplete sentences and blank drawing boxes. I inquire as to why Robbie did not finish his work (speaking to him) and the teacher butts in with "oh that's ok"
ummmm NO IT'S NOT!
So speaking to Robbie I say "You know sweetie, if work doesn't get done in the class time you have to either finish it during your recess and you miss it, or you bring it home as extra homework. It's very important you use class time wisely"
The next day I pick him up from school and the teacher says "If you were serious about him completing work at home (NO I was just f*cking around saying that) then I made a list of the pages he needs to have completed"
Again, Robbie needs motivation. In order for him to realize there was some kind of ramifications for him bringing schoolwork home, I told him for every incomplete page he brought home he lost two points; one point for the incomplete sentence and one point for not drawing a picture.
All his schoolwork was completed and returned the next day. The teacher noticed this and afterschool asked if Robbie "liked" drawing the pictures. I failed to see what difference that made. She explained that she only requires the children to finish the sentence and the picture can be drawn "if they feel like it"
WTF??
So that's just a sampling of some of the "small things" that had me anxious about her teaching ability. I kept telling myself I was looking for things to be picky about and should give her a chance to settle in. Meanwhile I'm telling my mom about all these weird goings on and she agrees to volunteer at his school once a week just to keep an eye on him and give me an outside perspective of what's going on in the classroom.
She left to volunteer yesterday morning and by midday was ready to bring him home.
I called to leave her a message about something and to my surprise her phone was on. I talked to her briefly but could hear in her voice that she was very unhappy about her day.
She comes home and tells me that all the suspicions i had abot this teacher had been confirmed. She does not address the children by name, she speaks in very general terms instead of direct discipline, and she's extraordinarily boring and not engaging to the students. Instead of specifically asking a student not to do something, then having them turn their card if they do not comply, she makes general statements like "you guys are not listening" She had Robbie turn his card because he was "not cooperating". No specific request to stop a particular behavior, just pointed at him and made him turn his card.
Robbie is reading at a third grade level. He was tested at the beginning of the year and scored the highest. At back to school night she referenced him three times and claimed she would have to "work hard to keep him engaged"
Her solution to this was to let him look at more books throughout the day.
At recess (which the teacher is nowhere to be found) my son had to use the restroom. He's been having bathroom issues for a few days and takes more than two minutes to "do his business"
My mom waited outside the restroom for him and watched to bigger kids go in. After a few minutes of shouting and ruckus she walks in to discover the two boys pushing on the door trying to force their way in and my son with his pants down holding the door for dear life.
The yard duties were twenty feet away talking to each other watching the 100 kids on the playground. The bathroom stall my son was in was one of two they have. TWO stalls for one hundred children and the other door didn't close all the way, which is why the big kids were fighting my son for his stall. So technically there is ONE boy's stall for that amount of kids.
After the incident my mom told the yard duty people what had occurred. They did not care.
My mom walks my son to the office so he can have some privacy and get his business done in peace. She explains to the office what happened and why he was required to use the bathroom there and they did not care.
She went back to the classroom and explained to the teacher why they were late coming back and what had occurred in the bathroom and SHE didn't care.
At lunchtime the children are herded into the cafeteria where the meek children are pushed to the back of the line. They are on a tight schedule and are only allowed a certain amount of time. Because the smaller kids get shoved to the back of the line, by the time the sit down they have about ten minutes to eat all their food. Then they are forced to throw away their food when the time is up and clear out for the next group of children.
My mom watched a little girl sit and look at her food. She didn't have a single bite. Instead of the staff asking the girl what was wrong, or trying to get her to eat something, she was simply instructed to throw away her food when the time was up and ushered out of the cafeteria. She left the lunchroom having eaten nothing and nobody cared.
My son is a very sensitive soul. I understand I can't shelter him from the whole world, nor do I wish to. But I have seen what things like this can do to a mind like his. Our family has some very messed up smart people because they were not in a nurturing caring environment.
If this was my daughter I doubt I would have even written this blog. She stands up for herself, is enormous for her age (LOL) and can hold her own wherever she goes.
My son is a bit different. The last thing I want is to have him in an environment where he withers away and falls through the cracks. He is SO excited about learning, and absorbs so much information wherever he goes, I'd hate for him to loose his passion and have all my years of hard work erased by one bad teacher. He is so vulnerable right now, and I know he will have many trials as he gets older, but at this particular age, this particular time, I can't in good conscience send him to a school that I know is destroying who he is.
I have an appointment to tour a private school about 15 miles away and I have told my husband in no uncertain terms that if I like the school I'm signing him up immediately. It's disgusting to me that should I not have had that option, I'd have to put up this horrible fight with the school system, principal and teacher and be labeled one of "those" parents.
Well, let them call me whatever the hell they want behind my back WHEN MY SON IS GOING TO A DIFFERENT SCHOOL and their precious state money is gone b/c they can't get their shit together and run a decent curriculum.
I'm so sick to my stomach over this. It was very difficult to drop him off at school today. I have no desire to speak to that teacher and feel very sorry for the children still left in that class. But if I can improve the situation for my child that is no longer my battle to fight.
Wish me luck.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
WTF is up with "U"?
I mean seriously, is it REALLY that difficult to type those TWO extra letters? Does every post have to read "Do U really...."
wow.
I feel sorry for anyone who cannot exert the energy necessary to move their digits those two extra keystrokes to complete the word "you"
perhaps "YOU" should learn to type properly. Perhaps "YOU" should really study the vernacular that "YOU" are choosing to use. Perhaps "YOU" should not be allowed to occupy the space that other more intelligent life forms require.
Do "YOU" know what those people would say to me, I bet?
F U
wow.
I feel sorry for anyone who cannot exert the energy necessary to move their digits those two extra keystrokes to complete the word "you"
perhaps "YOU" should learn to type properly. Perhaps "YOU" should really study the vernacular that "YOU" are choosing to use. Perhaps "YOU" should not be allowed to occupy the space that other more intelligent life forms require.
Do "YOU" know what those people would say to me, I bet?
F U
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Viva F*cking Mexico
This trip has been the thorn in my paw. We've been planning to go back to our honeymoon spot for almost six years now. The plan was to renew our vows and take a nice vacation where we could get away from the kids for a bit.
Well, arranging babysitting has been a bitch. We decided against having one person watch all three kids for several reasons: 1) The only person who would stay here at the house that amount of time is my mother and I don't want to hear about how hard her days were for weeks when I get back 2) The baby won't sleep anywhere but his own bed, so sending all of them to my Father in law's house was not going to happen and 3) I don't even like watching all three of my kids 24/7 for four days, how am I gonna dump them on someone else?
So my father in law and his wife are taking the older two (even though they offered to take all three of them, bless their hearts) and my mom is watching the baby here at my house.
[insert 6468746876874687687 possible problems into this scenario)
FIRSTLY, our original plan was to go from Friday-Monday so Jim would only have to take one day off (b/c of Memorial Day), but he was able to get the Thursday off as well. My father in law's wife had taken the day off on Friday specifically to watch our kids, so asking her to take ONE MORE day was going to be a bit of a stretch. I bring up the possibility to my mom that she may have to watch all three of the kids just for ONE DAY on that Thursday and she starts talking about calling one of her friend's daughter to come and help her that day.
Um....you want to invite someone I've never met to my house WHILE I'M OUT OF THE COUNTRY TO TAKE CARE OF MY CHILDREN???? ARE YOU CRAZY??? So I told her in a very pleasant, nice way that i was "uncomfortable" with that and I would call my Sister in law who should not have a job by that point. My sister in law was happy to help (she's offered to watch the kids for me before, i've just never taken her up on it)
Crisis averted.
Secondly, my mom decided she's flying to Texas to go to my cousin's wedding (that I cannot go to b/c we're spending all our money on mexico) and she has an office to clean every other weekend. Well, b/c she's gonna be out of town, she HAS to clean it the weekend we are gone. So yeah, I had to find someone to watch the baby for two hours on the Saturday so she can go clean the office. **big dramatic sigh**
Now it comes time to actually reserve, book and pay for the vacation.
Piece of cake right? LMFAO
The travel website I was trying to use wanted ridiculous prices for flights, and some of them had us doing over 10 hours of flying for what should be a 3 hour or so flight. Yeah, b/c my idea of a good use of vacation time is spending TWO of my FOUR days flying.
No thank you.
So I call the 888 number and see if the booking agent can do anything better for me and we get everything booked, squared away and i'm ready to purchase. They need full payment today. GREAT! I have more than enough to cover it in my account.
Our card was declined.
Turns out there is a daily limit on our card, and without getting it lifted it doesn't matter HOW MUCH money i have in my account, I'm not authorized to use it. We get my bank on the phone and they are unable to lift the daily limit and tell me I have to go into the branch. What should have been a 30 minute phone call ran over and i was late taking my kid to school.
I figured since I was already having to pack up the kids, I may as well shoot over to the bank and ask about the limit thing. I waited in the bank lobby for 15 minutes (AN ETERNITY to a small child, let alone TWO of them), finally go up to a teller and ask only to be told to sit BACK down and wait for a banker. Oh, you mean the bankers THAT IGNORED ME FOR 15 MINUTES??? Yeah, ok I'll just go back and SIT QUIETLY WITH MY THREE AND ONE YEAR OLD
GRRRR!
Someone FINALLY comes up and asks me if they can help. I tell him my issue and I'm informed that the only person that can help me is a branch manager and the ENTIRE DISTRICT of branch managers are in a meeting until after 3. So, I could not drive anywhere in a 20 mile radius and have a bank manager that could help me until after they got back from their buttplugging meeting.
Basically, in not so many words b/c of my children, i told them to fuck off.
Meanwhile I'm calling my husband who's out in the bay area for an appointment trying to let him know what kind of ridiculous hoops i have to jump through to book this damn vacation and he doesn't answer the phone.
Nice timing.
I finally get ahold of him and he suggests that I pull the money out of our account there and drive across town 25 minutes to our other bank and make a huge payment to our credit card and charge it on that.
At that point it officially became HIS problem.
So I'm crossing my fingers that by the time we actually pay for this damn thing the cost doesn't go up $500.
I need a vacation just from the stress I have from trying to book the vacation.
**sigh**
This is all topped by the fact that our original plan was to go back to the same hotel that we honeymooned at....we waited so long to do that, now the WHOLE place is booked solid.
SO wish me luck, I'm gonna need it :)
Well, arranging babysitting has been a bitch. We decided against having one person watch all three kids for several reasons: 1) The only person who would stay here at the house that amount of time is my mother and I don't want to hear about how hard her days were for weeks when I get back 2) The baby won't sleep anywhere but his own bed, so sending all of them to my Father in law's house was not going to happen and 3) I don't even like watching all three of my kids 24/7 for four days, how am I gonna dump them on someone else?
So my father in law and his wife are taking the older two (even though they offered to take all three of them, bless their hearts) and my mom is watching the baby here at my house.
[insert 6468746876874687687 possible problems into this scenario)
FIRSTLY, our original plan was to go from Friday-Monday so Jim would only have to take one day off (b/c of Memorial Day), but he was able to get the Thursday off as well. My father in law's wife had taken the day off on Friday specifically to watch our kids, so asking her to take ONE MORE day was going to be a bit of a stretch. I bring up the possibility to my mom that she may have to watch all three of the kids just for ONE DAY on that Thursday and she starts talking about calling one of her friend's daughter to come and help her that day.
Um....you want to invite someone I've never met to my house WHILE I'M OUT OF THE COUNTRY TO TAKE CARE OF MY CHILDREN???? ARE YOU CRAZY??? So I told her in a very pleasant, nice way that i was "uncomfortable" with that and I would call my Sister in law who should not have a job by that point. My sister in law was happy to help (she's offered to watch the kids for me before, i've just never taken her up on it)
Crisis averted.
Secondly, my mom decided she's flying to Texas to go to my cousin's wedding (that I cannot go to b/c we're spending all our money on mexico) and she has an office to clean every other weekend. Well, b/c she's gonna be out of town, she HAS to clean it the weekend we are gone. So yeah, I had to find someone to watch the baby for two hours on the Saturday so she can go clean the office. **big dramatic sigh**
Now it comes time to actually reserve, book and pay for the vacation.
Piece of cake right? LMFAO
The travel website I was trying to use wanted ridiculous prices for flights, and some of them had us doing over 10 hours of flying for what should be a 3 hour or so flight. Yeah, b/c my idea of a good use of vacation time is spending TWO of my FOUR days flying.
No thank you.
So I call the 888 number and see if the booking agent can do anything better for me and we get everything booked, squared away and i'm ready to purchase. They need full payment today. GREAT! I have more than enough to cover it in my account.
Our card was declined.
Turns out there is a daily limit on our card, and without getting it lifted it doesn't matter HOW MUCH money i have in my account, I'm not authorized to use it. We get my bank on the phone and they are unable to lift the daily limit and tell me I have to go into the branch. What should have been a 30 minute phone call ran over and i was late taking my kid to school.
I figured since I was already having to pack up the kids, I may as well shoot over to the bank and ask about the limit thing. I waited in the bank lobby for 15 minutes (AN ETERNITY to a small child, let alone TWO of them), finally go up to a teller and ask only to be told to sit BACK down and wait for a banker. Oh, you mean the bankers THAT IGNORED ME FOR 15 MINUTES??? Yeah, ok I'll just go back and SIT QUIETLY WITH MY THREE AND ONE YEAR OLD
GRRRR!
Someone FINALLY comes up and asks me if they can help. I tell him my issue and I'm informed that the only person that can help me is a branch manager and the ENTIRE DISTRICT of branch managers are in a meeting until after 3. So, I could not drive anywhere in a 20 mile radius and have a bank manager that could help me until after they got back from their buttplugging meeting.
Basically, in not so many words b/c of my children, i told them to fuck off.
Meanwhile I'm calling my husband who's out in the bay area for an appointment trying to let him know what kind of ridiculous hoops i have to jump through to book this damn vacation and he doesn't answer the phone.
Nice timing.
I finally get ahold of him and he suggests that I pull the money out of our account there and drive across town 25 minutes to our other bank and make a huge payment to our credit card and charge it on that.
At that point it officially became HIS problem.
So I'm crossing my fingers that by the time we actually pay for this damn thing the cost doesn't go up $500.
I need a vacation just from the stress I have from trying to book the vacation.
**sigh**
This is all topped by the fact that our original plan was to go back to the same hotel that we honeymooned at....we waited so long to do that, now the WHOLE place is booked solid.
SO wish me luck, I'm gonna need it :)
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
This happened yesterday...
Robbie: (turns around in his chair while eating dinner) "Hey, do you remember that part in Lilo and Stitch where Stitch climbs over the guy who is shooting and gets his rocket ship to fall down?
Me: No. Do you remember the time you were so busy talking about a movie that you wouldn't sit forward and eat your dinner?
Robbie: No.
Me: Well I do. Do you know WHY I remember that so well?
Robbie: No
Mom: Because it JUST HAPPENED. SIDDOWN!
**Grandma laughs in the other room**
friggin kids.
Me: No. Do you remember the time you were so busy talking about a movie that you wouldn't sit forward and eat your dinner?
Robbie: No.
Me: Well I do. Do you know WHY I remember that so well?
Robbie: No
Mom: Because it JUST HAPPENED. SIDDOWN!
**Grandma laughs in the other room**
friggin kids.
wonderfully shitastic times here...
Ok so i went to bed late last night b/c my SIL came over to borrow an easel from me, and she wanted to scan some images of henna work for a potential bride customer...
My new computer no longer has the drivers for my old network printer/scanner/thingamabbber (Don't you DARE tell me "thingamabobber" is not a word stupid Firefox)
So that took me an hour to get everything done to email her the images.
The baby woke up a bunch b/c JOY OF JOYS, he's got molars coming in.
So going to bed late + shitty sleep = VERY tired Irma this morning
*ring ring*
*half asleep Irma looks at clock*
*blinks b/c clock says 6:50 AM!*
Irma: (in her head) WHO THE FUCK CALLS AT THIS UNGODLY HOUR OF THE MORNING??
um it was my MOM!
See, she's been staying here while Jim is out of town and using his truck to go to work. She leaves very early in the morning and leaves the truck parked outside so the garage door doesn't wake up the baby. Well apparently this morning she went out the side door and locked it behind her, keys in hand. Um they were the WRONG KEYS...and she was locked out of the house and could not get the right ones
So she had to wake me up at 10 to 7 this morning for me to come downstairs and unlock the door so her stupid ass could grab the right keys.
I shoulda taken a clue from there on how the day was going to go.
The baby woke up pissy. He wouldn't eat, wouldn't play, so I figured he must be tired/teething and put him to bed.
Yeah right.
Bring him BACK downstairs to play a bit and he gets fussy again...
So I put him back down.
He farts around and finally goes to sleep an HOUR before we have to leave to take Robbie to school.
Beauty.
I get everybody ready to go, find Robbie's book b/c it's library day, get the other two books (2nd Grade level that he READS BY HIMSELF BTW) and his backpack is ready to go on the couch. I wait until the LAST possible second to get baby J so he can sleep as much as possible, get the kids in the car and back out.
**CRUNCH**
Oh thank you Mister Garbage man who left my NEIGHBOR'S CAN RIGHT where i back my car out!!
FINALLY get Robbie to school and unload the kids.
"Um Robbie, where's your backpack"
(everyone reading this blog knows DAMN WELL where his backpack was)
Yeah.
So he lines up with his substitute teacher and i run BACK to the car to go home and get Robbie's backpack.
What should have been a FIVE MIN venture turned into 15.
A friggin Sears truck wanted to pull right in front of me and OF COURSE it was going to my street.
NOT ONLY was it going to my street, but they were LOST and sat at the FRIGGIN STOP SIGN trying to figure out which way to go. (b/c i SO had time for this bullshit)
I honk my horn and he finally moves, i jump out of the car, get the backpack and jump RIGHT back in only to pull out and have my next door neighbor blocking the entire street CONVERSING with people crossing the crosswalk.
WTF??
SO i drive around her and get past the big intersection only to come up on the next street to a SPEEDING SPORTS CAR that was trying to turn right in front of me and blow the stop they had.
Jason's being Mr. Cranky head this whole time and I could not WAIT to get back home to put him down.
Drop Robbie's pack off, come home, get in the house...
"I wanna movie"
"I wanna snack mom"
"I wanna juice"
gahhhhh!!!
so I pour some kix in a bowl, pop in a blues clues and head upstairs with Jason.
He's quiet now, She's still watching Blue and Joe, and I need another cup of coffee. It's gonna be a long day.
My new computer no longer has the drivers for my old network printer/scanner/thingamabbber (Don't you DARE tell me "thingamabobber" is not a word stupid Firefox)
So that took me an hour to get everything done to email her the images.
The baby woke up a bunch b/c JOY OF JOYS, he's got molars coming in.
So going to bed late + shitty sleep = VERY tired Irma this morning
*ring ring*
*half asleep Irma looks at clock*
*blinks b/c clock says 6:50 AM!*
Irma: (in her head) WHO THE FUCK CALLS AT THIS UNGODLY HOUR OF THE MORNING??
um it was my MOM!
See, she's been staying here while Jim is out of town and using his truck to go to work. She leaves very early in the morning and leaves the truck parked outside so the garage door doesn't wake up the baby. Well apparently this morning she went out the side door and locked it behind her, keys in hand. Um they were the WRONG KEYS...and she was locked out of the house and could not get the right ones
So she had to wake me up at 10 to 7 this morning for me to come downstairs and unlock the door so her stupid ass could grab the right keys.
I shoulda taken a clue from there on how the day was going to go.
The baby woke up pissy. He wouldn't eat, wouldn't play, so I figured he must be tired/teething and put him to bed.
Yeah right.
Bring him BACK downstairs to play a bit and he gets fussy again...
So I put him back down.
He farts around and finally goes to sleep an HOUR before we have to leave to take Robbie to school.
Beauty.
I get everybody ready to go, find Robbie's book b/c it's library day, get the other two books (2nd Grade level that he READS BY HIMSELF BTW) and his backpack is ready to go on the couch. I wait until the LAST possible second to get baby J so he can sleep as much as possible, get the kids in the car and back out.
**CRUNCH**
Oh thank you Mister Garbage man who left my NEIGHBOR'S CAN RIGHT where i back my car out!!
FINALLY get Robbie to school and unload the kids.
"Um Robbie, where's your backpack"
(everyone reading this blog knows DAMN WELL where his backpack was)
Yeah.
So he lines up with his substitute teacher and i run BACK to the car to go home and get Robbie's backpack.
What should have been a FIVE MIN venture turned into 15.
A friggin Sears truck wanted to pull right in front of me and OF COURSE it was going to my street.
NOT ONLY was it going to my street, but they were LOST and sat at the FRIGGIN STOP SIGN trying to figure out which way to go. (b/c i SO had time for this bullshit)
I honk my horn and he finally moves, i jump out of the car, get the backpack and jump RIGHT back in only to pull out and have my next door neighbor blocking the entire street CONVERSING with people crossing the crosswalk.
WTF??
SO i drive around her and get past the big intersection only to come up on the next street to a SPEEDING SPORTS CAR that was trying to turn right in front of me and blow the stop they had.
Jason's being Mr. Cranky head this whole time and I could not WAIT to get back home to put him down.
Drop Robbie's pack off, come home, get in the house...
"I wanna movie"
"I wanna snack mom"
"I wanna juice"
gahhhhh!!!
so I pour some kix in a bowl, pop in a blues clues and head upstairs with Jason.
He's quiet now, She's still watching Blue and Joe, and I need another cup of coffee. It's gonna be a long day.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Untitled short story: Take 1
A million thoughts were swimming in Chrissy's head. "I wonder if I did the right thing?" "I'm just trying to do the best I can for my kids" "Poor baby"
The sounds of her one year old screaming and herself shushing him, letting him know everything would be ok was drowning out the sound of the traffic she'd hit. "It's only 3 o'clock, why the hell is there so much traffic? And of course, today of all days, when I've got a crying baby in the backseat there has to be something keeping me from getting home as quickly as possible"
She continued the conversation with herself in her own head, making note of some of the odd characters she had the chance to glance at in the other cars due to the slow goings. "That's an interesting shade for a lipstick...."
Candy was on her way home from work. She hated her job, but only b/c she had the glowing expectation of how much she would enjoy it and was so horribly, horribly wrong. She hated her boss, the people she worked with, even the customers...but she could not quit. She REFUSED to call in AGAIN because of not having enough money for gas. This time she'd find a way to get there, dammit. She was already late coming home to relieve her Mom of childcare duties. "Mom says she doesn't mind, after all, it's her grandkid, but the last thing I need is someone ELSE holding things over my head." Although she insisted it was no trouble, Candy's mom ALWAYS found a way to bring it up when she was trying to guilt something out of her. Today, she really didn't want to hear it. She had the day from hell and was not about to let her mother top it off with a nice guilt sundae. Her friggin' boss made her late AGAIN and THIS TIME wanted to embarrass her on the way out. Putting on that stupid shade of lipstick before she left "so the customers will know you have personal experience with the products" is the worst mistake she could have made. WHO THE HELL MAKES A LIPSTICK THAT STAINS YOUR LIPS??? And although she was not entirely sure, the tingling sensation she was feeling was suspiciously like the allergic reaction she had to MSG. God that Chinese food was horrible.
The traffic started to let up a bit...good thing, Chrissy was beginning to suspect there was in accident. Three o'clock traffic is NEVER this bad. She started to wonder if some kind of event was going on. She lived in the Capitol of her state, sometimes a stupid governor thing was going on and they blocked street and redirected traffic...She cursed living so close to downtown. The baby has slowed down to a quiet whimper and she should see her exit peeking around the corner, taunting her with it's bright green sign and white arrow. "If I can JUST get off the freeway and get this car going for a bit, maybe my little man will fall asleep and I can get two minutes of peace and quiet." Her day had been so traumatic up this point, a screaming baby behind her would drive her over the brink.
She pulled off the freeway and around to the light. Just as the baby threatened to go into a full cry, she gunned the gas and got the roar of the engine to lull the little one back to a light slumber. "Thank God" she breathed out quietly. She ascended the bridge that stretched over the port near her home, filled with guilt and worries about her little one. She knew intellectually that he would not remember this when he was older, but that lent her no reassurance. Feeling guilt was a right of passage in motherhood, and today was no exception.
Her phone rang. She looked at the caller ID and decided not to take the call from her selfish, single, has no concept of what it means to have kids BFF. She was sure it was some idiotic reason for the call: She was bored, or tired, or wanted to talk about the cute shoes she found on her day off from work. As she looked at the phone and sped toward her home she glanced up at the cop car. "SHIT! I hope he didn't see me with my phone." She took her foot off the accelerator and threw her phone across the car just before passing the cop.
Officer Lipinski was SO tired. Not the kind of tired that comes from not sleeping well, but the aching kind of tired that came with having a bad marriage. He DID NOT want to go home, but that was nothing new. Work was the only place he truly felt appreciated. His boss used him as an example all the time with the newbies, and he enjoyed teaching others about the passion in his life. When thoughts of his nagging wife's complaints began to fill his head, he tried to remember the praises of his boss, but today it was no use. All he could hear was "You work too much." "I am better than this marriage." "I need space" "I don't know who I am anymore" "Loose some weight, I don't know how you still have a job with the force being in that kind of shape" He knew the relationship was beyond saving, but he just couldn't bring himself to accepting the advances of his coworker. If he risked being involved with someone else, it could tarnish his reputation. Man, was she beautiful though. And funny. And smart. She made him feel like he could do anything, be anything, accomplish anything. It was soooooo tempting, but he was blessed/cursed with being an honest man. There is no way, as shrewd as she was, he could cheat on his wife. Every fiber of his being said to do it, but his morality would not allow it. He cursed his ethics as he watched a minivan speed pass him. "I should probably pull her over", he thought but as quickly as the thought came into his head it left as he visualized finally telling his fat ugly wife to go jump off a cliff.
Chrissy breathed a sigh of relief as she passed the police car and watched in her rear view mirror for his light to appear behind her. He seemed to be preoccupied with something. Good news on this bad day for her. "I better watch my speed now, since the baby's sleeping." She kept it at the speed limit and stayed to the right so as to avoid the honking irritations of faster drivers. "I know I did the right thing" she thought, but holding her baby down like that was torture....for mother AND son. She reassured herself that once the test results came back, she's know for sure what was going on, but making her hold his little arm down to get that blood draw was really cruel of them. Never mind the 15 minutes they spend calling to find out how much to draw in the first place. She saw in her mind's eye the FIVE empty vials they had lined up for him and heard herself telling them there was no way a one year old would fill that many. "Those idiots have no idea how hard it is to keep a mobile baby that gets into everything CALM for 15 minutes in a lab full of needles and strangers, and THEN expect him not to shriek and squeal when being HELD DOWN by TWO PEOPLE to get a blood draw." Her BFF popped into her head again. "I can't WAIT for her to have kids and FINALLY understand what I go through" she thought to herself. She slowly rounded the corner that led to her housing development when she caught sight of a well dress young man in a beat up Volvo. She cried a little inside knowing she was finally old enough to refer to someone like that as "a kid".
Braden had just graduated from High School last summer. He SWORE he would not be one of those freeloading kids that stayed with their parents, but his grades were not good enough to go straight to State college. "Too much farting around" he thought to himself. "Well, not anymore. This job is gonna be IT". He found his best tie (a graduation gift from his Uncle Tim) pulled out the white dress shirt he had just had dry cleaned and pressed, ironed his black slacks and headed off in his Volvo. "Cheap-ass parents" he mumbled as he slid onto the cracked leather seats, crossing his fingers it would not snag his pants. All his buddies were driving nice cars, Ben got a friggin beamer for God's sake. He was sporting a beat up, overused and under-cleaned Volvo. It seemed no matter how much he scrubbed or shined it, that car never looked right. It needed new paint, new seats, hell, new EVERYTHING. But unless he got himself a job he would never see anything for this piece of crap car. He waited at the red arrow to go over the port bridge and realized how ridiculous he must look. Nice, clean cut, well dressed kid in this hunk of garbage. "I better get this job" he muttered quietly.
She was finally on the home stretch. Her thoughts wandered from the lab incident to the vomiting baby she was holding just weeks before. Such an easy-going little man she had, and to see him limp and throwing up like that was frightening. She almost went to the ER but he stopped after a half and hour. The advice nurse had told her not to come in unless he continued and refused to eat or drink anything. It appeared that whatever had caused this was confined to the contents of his stomach, and once that was expelled all was well. She listened to the monitor that was turned all the way up, responding to the slightest hiccup, cough or stirring. His well baby check up was in a few weeks. If he vomited before then, she'd call for an appointment, but seeing as this was possibly a reaction to something he'd eaten she'd just wait and bring it up then. Those weeks seemed like an eternity, but getting those tests done was key. If he had a reaction to anything, hopefully it would show up. She had to swerve a little to go around a pedestrian who was walking against the flow of traffic on the side of the road. There were no sidewalks here, since the housing developments didn't start for some five miles down the road. Sometimes she felt like she lived in the middle of nowhere, but once you see the new houses on the horizon the nagging feeling you have that you're lost suddenly goes away.
Serenity was PISSED. Like, seeing red from the blood vessels popping behind her eyes pissed. Obscenities filled her head. "F*ck them. F*ck them all" She was tall, slender, beautiful. It looked as though someone had plucked her directly from a magazine. She was WAY better than this place. Way better than her parents. Way better than the haters at school. Not only did she have the looks but the talent. Her voice was that of an angel. She had NEVER been booed off a stage, never known what kind of rejection might lay ahead. Every role in every show she had ever tried out for was easily hers. Competitors would specifically ask her what role she was auditioning for, so as to ask for a different one. They knew going up against her would end in humiliation and disappointment. She felt like there was one reason, and one reason alone that she had been given these looks and talent; to be famous. She had the ambition, the drive, the talent and the looks....now all she needed was money. She had no idea how she would get it, but she knew others had made it with less than she had. She would find a way. Walking on this road seemed endless, but somehow the length of it soothed her. It gave her a chance to create a game plan in her head. Somehow she'd get to LA. Somehow she'd make it. Everything she had ever done in her 17 years on this planet had led up to this moment. It was the beginning of something amazing. Something bigger than herself. Something epic. She would get famous and show them all. Give the finger to EVERYONE that had ever spit on her. "F*ck them all" she muttered again.
"FINALLY" she screamed in her head as she pulled onto he street. The baby began to stir behind her, almost with some form of sixth sense that he was home. She was relieved to be able to put him in his own crib, with her bosom as comfort. Her original plan was to have him weaned by now, but seeing how sick he had gotten she couldn't bear to take away the one source of food she knew was safe. Until she got those results back solid food was severely restricted.
He quietly nursed and as she lay him down he had a look of peaceful content on his face. She marveled at the innocence she was staring at. If she had not just experienced the last hour and looked upon this beautiful face she'd be none the wiser. Ah, to be blessed with the short memory of a baby. If only......if only.
The sounds of her one year old screaming and herself shushing him, letting him know everything would be ok was drowning out the sound of the traffic she'd hit. "It's only 3 o'clock, why the hell is there so much traffic? And of course, today of all days, when I've got a crying baby in the backseat there has to be something keeping me from getting home as quickly as possible"
She continued the conversation with herself in her own head, making note of some of the odd characters she had the chance to glance at in the other cars due to the slow goings. "That's an interesting shade for a lipstick...."
Candy was on her way home from work. She hated her job, but only b/c she had the glowing expectation of how much she would enjoy it and was so horribly, horribly wrong. She hated her boss, the people she worked with, even the customers...but she could not quit. She REFUSED to call in AGAIN because of not having enough money for gas. This time she'd find a way to get there, dammit. She was already late coming home to relieve her Mom of childcare duties. "Mom says she doesn't mind, after all, it's her grandkid, but the last thing I need is someone ELSE holding things over my head." Although she insisted it was no trouble, Candy's mom ALWAYS found a way to bring it up when she was trying to guilt something out of her. Today, she really didn't want to hear it. She had the day from hell and was not about to let her mother top it off with a nice guilt sundae. Her friggin' boss made her late AGAIN and THIS TIME wanted to embarrass her on the way out. Putting on that stupid shade of lipstick before she left "so the customers will know you have personal experience with the products" is the worst mistake she could have made. WHO THE HELL MAKES A LIPSTICK THAT STAINS YOUR LIPS??? And although she was not entirely sure, the tingling sensation she was feeling was suspiciously like the allergic reaction she had to MSG. God that Chinese food was horrible.
The traffic started to let up a bit...good thing, Chrissy was beginning to suspect there was in accident. Three o'clock traffic is NEVER this bad. She started to wonder if some kind of event was going on. She lived in the Capitol of her state, sometimes a stupid governor thing was going on and they blocked street and redirected traffic...She cursed living so close to downtown. The baby has slowed down to a quiet whimper and she should see her exit peeking around the corner, taunting her with it's bright green sign and white arrow. "If I can JUST get off the freeway and get this car going for a bit, maybe my little man will fall asleep and I can get two minutes of peace and quiet." Her day had been so traumatic up this point, a screaming baby behind her would drive her over the brink.
She pulled off the freeway and around to the light. Just as the baby threatened to go into a full cry, she gunned the gas and got the roar of the engine to lull the little one back to a light slumber. "Thank God" she breathed out quietly. She ascended the bridge that stretched over the port near her home, filled with guilt and worries about her little one. She knew intellectually that he would not remember this when he was older, but that lent her no reassurance. Feeling guilt was a right of passage in motherhood, and today was no exception.
Her phone rang. She looked at the caller ID and decided not to take the call from her selfish, single, has no concept of what it means to have kids BFF. She was sure it was some idiotic reason for the call: She was bored, or tired, or wanted to talk about the cute shoes she found on her day off from work. As she looked at the phone and sped toward her home she glanced up at the cop car. "SHIT! I hope he didn't see me with my phone." She took her foot off the accelerator and threw her phone across the car just before passing the cop.
Officer Lipinski was SO tired. Not the kind of tired that comes from not sleeping well, but the aching kind of tired that came with having a bad marriage. He DID NOT want to go home, but that was nothing new. Work was the only place he truly felt appreciated. His boss used him as an example all the time with the newbies, and he enjoyed teaching others about the passion in his life. When thoughts of his nagging wife's complaints began to fill his head, he tried to remember the praises of his boss, but today it was no use. All he could hear was "You work too much." "I am better than this marriage." "I need space" "I don't know who I am anymore" "Loose some weight, I don't know how you still have a job with the force being in that kind of shape" He knew the relationship was beyond saving, but he just couldn't bring himself to accepting the advances of his coworker. If he risked being involved with someone else, it could tarnish his reputation. Man, was she beautiful though. And funny. And smart. She made him feel like he could do anything, be anything, accomplish anything. It was soooooo tempting, but he was blessed/cursed with being an honest man. There is no way, as shrewd as she was, he could cheat on his wife. Every fiber of his being said to do it, but his morality would not allow it. He cursed his ethics as he watched a minivan speed pass him. "I should probably pull her over", he thought but as quickly as the thought came into his head it left as he visualized finally telling his fat ugly wife to go jump off a cliff.
Chrissy breathed a sigh of relief as she passed the police car and watched in her rear view mirror for his light to appear behind her. He seemed to be preoccupied with something. Good news on this bad day for her. "I better watch my speed now, since the baby's sleeping." She kept it at the speed limit and stayed to the right so as to avoid the honking irritations of faster drivers. "I know I did the right thing" she thought, but holding her baby down like that was torture....for mother AND son. She reassured herself that once the test results came back, she's know for sure what was going on, but making her hold his little arm down to get that blood draw was really cruel of them. Never mind the 15 minutes they spend calling to find out how much to draw in the first place. She saw in her mind's eye the FIVE empty vials they had lined up for him and heard herself telling them there was no way a one year old would fill that many. "Those idiots have no idea how hard it is to keep a mobile baby that gets into everything CALM for 15 minutes in a lab full of needles and strangers, and THEN expect him not to shriek and squeal when being HELD DOWN by TWO PEOPLE to get a blood draw." Her BFF popped into her head again. "I can't WAIT for her to have kids and FINALLY understand what I go through" she thought to herself. She slowly rounded the corner that led to her housing development when she caught sight of a well dress young man in a beat up Volvo. She cried a little inside knowing she was finally old enough to refer to someone like that as "a kid".
Braden had just graduated from High School last summer. He SWORE he would not be one of those freeloading kids that stayed with their parents, but his grades were not good enough to go straight to State college. "Too much farting around" he thought to himself. "Well, not anymore. This job is gonna be IT". He found his best tie (a graduation gift from his Uncle Tim) pulled out the white dress shirt he had just had dry cleaned and pressed, ironed his black slacks and headed off in his Volvo. "Cheap-ass parents" he mumbled as he slid onto the cracked leather seats, crossing his fingers it would not snag his pants. All his buddies were driving nice cars, Ben got a friggin beamer for God's sake. He was sporting a beat up, overused and under-cleaned Volvo. It seemed no matter how much he scrubbed or shined it, that car never looked right. It needed new paint, new seats, hell, new EVERYTHING. But unless he got himself a job he would never see anything for this piece of crap car. He waited at the red arrow to go over the port bridge and realized how ridiculous he must look. Nice, clean cut, well dressed kid in this hunk of garbage. "I better get this job" he muttered quietly.
She was finally on the home stretch. Her thoughts wandered from the lab incident to the vomiting baby she was holding just weeks before. Such an easy-going little man she had, and to see him limp and throwing up like that was frightening. She almost went to the ER but he stopped after a half and hour. The advice nurse had told her not to come in unless he continued and refused to eat or drink anything. It appeared that whatever had caused this was confined to the contents of his stomach, and once that was expelled all was well. She listened to the monitor that was turned all the way up, responding to the slightest hiccup, cough or stirring. His well baby check up was in a few weeks. If he vomited before then, she'd call for an appointment, but seeing as this was possibly a reaction to something he'd eaten she'd just wait and bring it up then. Those weeks seemed like an eternity, but getting those tests done was key. If he had a reaction to anything, hopefully it would show up. She had to swerve a little to go around a pedestrian who was walking against the flow of traffic on the side of the road. There were no sidewalks here, since the housing developments didn't start for some five miles down the road. Sometimes she felt like she lived in the middle of nowhere, but once you see the new houses on the horizon the nagging feeling you have that you're lost suddenly goes away.
Serenity was PISSED. Like, seeing red from the blood vessels popping behind her eyes pissed. Obscenities filled her head. "F*ck them. F*ck them all" She was tall, slender, beautiful. It looked as though someone had plucked her directly from a magazine. She was WAY better than this place. Way better than her parents. Way better than the haters at school. Not only did she have the looks but the talent. Her voice was that of an angel. She had NEVER been booed off a stage, never known what kind of rejection might lay ahead. Every role in every show she had ever tried out for was easily hers. Competitors would specifically ask her what role she was auditioning for, so as to ask for a different one. They knew going up against her would end in humiliation and disappointment. She felt like there was one reason, and one reason alone that she had been given these looks and talent; to be famous. She had the ambition, the drive, the talent and the looks....now all she needed was money. She had no idea how she would get it, but she knew others had made it with less than she had. She would find a way. Walking on this road seemed endless, but somehow the length of it soothed her. It gave her a chance to create a game plan in her head. Somehow she'd get to LA. Somehow she'd make it. Everything she had ever done in her 17 years on this planet had led up to this moment. It was the beginning of something amazing. Something bigger than herself. Something epic. She would get famous and show them all. Give the finger to EVERYONE that had ever spit on her. "F*ck them all" she muttered again.
"FINALLY" she screamed in her head as she pulled onto he street. The baby began to stir behind her, almost with some form of sixth sense that he was home. She was relieved to be able to put him in his own crib, with her bosom as comfort. Her original plan was to have him weaned by now, but seeing how sick he had gotten she couldn't bear to take away the one source of food she knew was safe. Until she got those results back solid food was severely restricted.
He quietly nursed and as she lay him down he had a look of peaceful content on his face. She marveled at the innocence she was staring at. If she had not just experienced the last hour and looked upon this beautiful face she'd be none the wiser. Ah, to be blessed with the short memory of a baby. If only......if only.
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